Mechele Dillard | Huliq
When parents grow older, their children grow older, as well. And, many parents—tho’ they love their children with all their hearts—cannot wait until that day when their kids are grown, hopefully self-sufficient and, one assumes, on their own. Some parents, however, find that they have “empty nest syndrome,” and start to crave the company of another child.
But, what if only one parent of two wants another child at this late stage of the game?
Gene and Shannon Simmons, formerly “happily unmarried” pair on the hit A&E reality show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, are facing this dilemma: Shannon wants to adopt, Gene has no desire for more children. With such a serious disagreement, who is “right?”
It seems that this is something where there is no “right” answer—it’s just tough. But, someone has to give in, someone has to compromise—and they both have to ultimately be happy.
It is nice, sweet, that Shannon feels she has so much to give to a child—and, on the surface it seems that it is true. But, is it fair to bring a child into an environment of outright hostility to the idea?
Robyn Harrod, adoption director of the Southern California Foster Family and Adoption Agency, spoke with the couple, and Gene’s initial statement made it clear where he stood on the issue: “First question is, should you be adopting?” Not we; you. And, as Harrod told the couple, “One of the most important things, really, about adopting or doing foster care is just making sure that the two of you are on the same page.”
Clearly, at this point, they are not.
“If it’s the wrong decision,” Harrod told them, “really the ones that get hurt are the kids.”
But, when both spouses are so dead-set on their sides of the adoption decision, is there a way to come to a resolution without hurting the marriage itself?
Gene & Shannon Have Other Obstacles
It certainly does not help things that the grown kids, Nick and Sophie, the presumable brother and sister of an adopted child, are so against the idea.
“Now that the kids are grown up, I thought this was supposed to be the next part of our life,” Gene told Shannon, alluding to the obvious: They are in the grandparent, not newborn, age group. But, as she pointed out to him, his life—his very busy life—is going on as usual, leaving her with nothing to do.
But, one has to ask: Is Shannon just scared? Is she avoiding building her own life, with her own identity, by investing herself in another child?
And, honestly, Shannon continues to distrust Gene now that they are man and wife (not, of course, let’s face it, without reason); is bringing another child into the mix really a great idea? They are just really delving into a new phase of their long relationship: marriage. Is adopting a child that only one of them wants really a great idea?
Ultimately, it is the couple’s decision; hopefully they will be able to come to a winning compromise.
Will Gene come around to his wife’s way of thinking regarding another child? Will Nick and Sophie’s strong objections have any real effect on Shannon’s desire to adopt? And how many more of those “secret boxes” will Shannon stumble across as their marriage develops?
Stay tuned.