Death and Taxes

Larry David once said that “blind people and assholes” are the only people who wear sunglasses indoors. With that in mind, Gene Simmons took a break from slapping a KISS logo on ever spare piece of plastic in a 500-mile radius to appear on CNBC’s “Power Lunch” Wednesday wearing some Steve Dallas-style aviators.

When asked what Donald Trump is like to work with, Simmons managed to wrangle the focus back onto himself and his predilection for wearing shades indoors. “I wear sunglasses in the middle of the night, “said Simmons, “because the sun never sets on Planet Cool, folks, and that’s where I live.”

Damn, Gene, it sounds like your home planet needs you.

After the panel spent valuable airtime fumbling a botched Corey Hart reference before they got to the ostensible reason why the human tongue was on the news show in the first place: Donald Trump and/or to promote his Rock and Brews Casino.

Let’s be honest, any TV appearance is to promote one of his bars, usually right after bragging about how he never had a drink in his life. Seems like a cool dude.

“I will tell you one observation, since you’re basically a business network,” said Simmons, “The Dow is hovering around 20,000, right below it, I’ve made a small fortune in the stock market… whether it’s due to the president-elect or not, the Dow is very positive. I hear rumors, and so do you, taxes [for the wealthy] might go down to 15%, will it trickle down? I don’t know, but I’m putting more and more money into the marketplace because…”

Leading the hosts to plug Simmons’ new casino in Oklahoma City. The snake eats its own tail.