The first ever Live Kiss Thought came and went way back on April 27th, at the NJ Kiss Expo in lovely Hackensack, New Jersey. As proof that it really happened, here's my in-the-center-of it-all account of how it all went. Enjoy!

Woo-ooo-wooh, Got to Choose

How did I select my panelists? Well, that was easy, since I've been hosting impromptu Live Kiss Thought Vaults for years. The settings have just been a little different; work, my house, my wedding, etc. So, I knew I could ask a couple of friends who are used to this sort of thing, and could keep up with my incredible (ahem) amount of useless (ah, there's the self-effacement) Kiss knowledge. I was also aware of some expo-attending folk who were more than qualified to engage in interesting discussion (Kisscourse?) and/or debate.

*I had also sent the following to all interested parties:

Dear Kiss Alive! Owner,

Thank you for expressing your interest in being part of the Live Kiss Thought Vault - I'm all for it! However, your candidacy hinges upon successful completion of the following written examination. Please supply your answers with the Kiss pencil and Dynasty-era spiral notebook found in this package.

1) Compare and contrast one of Gene's basic Animalize outfits with his main Revenge one. Account for developments in synthetic fabrics.

2) Create a new track listing for Unmasked by replacing three songs with an equal amount of selections from Peter Criss' Out of Control album. Explain each choice by making an argument that the changes would be for the better. If you are not familiar with Criss' 1980 release, please immediately send back your testing materials to: Mr. Thayer, P.O. Box....

3) If you're in the middle of a busy street with a boom box, and blast the ESP album, would anyone hear it?

Meet the first Live Kiss Thought Vault Heroes!

Did Barry Levine set up this shot? All we needed were some cubes....

Ken Gullic: The Insider In real life, this lead singer of Bootcamp and hamburger lover is a major sales executive in the music industry. As for Kiss credentials, Ken succeeded in having Bruce Kulick appear on his band's As You Were EP, and then later perform with them at a gig in Dallas, Texas. But even cooler is the news is that Ken is working with BK on his forthcoming book. Besides all that, he has a virtual Kiss shrine in his house, and loves the Ipswitch '84 bootleg.
Powers: Can tell the differences in Gene's Love Gun costume, right down to the Demon's weight fluctuations; loves Unmasked; owns a Creatures of the Night tourbook.

Eddie Trunk: The Voice
The Vault may be full of Kiss data, but so is Eddie's trunk. Eddie is a disc jockey (and somehow, that title doesn't do him justice, as you'll see), and has been on the New York area dial for over fifteen years. In addition (here's where you should see), Eddie worked with Ace Frehley when the corny-named Megaforce Records landed the spaceman in the '80s. Their business relationship (which officially began when Trunk, as VP of the label, lobbied hard to sign Ace) grew to the point where today Eddie is a close friend of the spacey one. As an important historical note, this guy's radio endeavors are important not only for his sending of songs like "Fits Like a Glove" and "Keep Me Comin'" over high-wattage airwaves, but for giving Frehley the opportunity to scoop Gene and Paul by announcing that the current Kiss tour would be the last on his show on WNEW-FM last summer.
Powers: At least 40,000 watts. Has interviewed Gene, Ace (a lot), Paul, Eric and Bruce Kulick. He probably talked to the penguin, Eric Singer, too.

Dave Streicher: The Traditionalist
Even before he was officially a panelist Dave was ready to go, taunting yours truly by making comments like "You want someone with strong opinions, right?" Dave is one those Connecticut Kiss fans who distinctly favors/ed Ace, and to prove it, they all have or had official Ace haircuts. I'm talking guys like Bill Baker (when are you going to cut it like Elvis?) and Gordon Gebert. In fact, Dave currently sports a modified bangs, long-on-the-sides-and-in-the-back 100% Acey-doo. Anyway, you may not know Dave by face (or his Elder-era Frehley follicles), but you definitely know him by his work, as he is the driving force behind those wonderful Kissvision videos. Crystal clear, this series has forever upgraded and preserved a large library of Kiss footage. Well, maybe he didn't need to clean up that '79 Jerry Lewis telethon bit, but....
Powers: Kissvision, loves Star Wars, so he's used to arguing, and in nerdy detail.

Live Vault Trivia: Streicher was waiting in the bullpen till about 4:45 p.m. (we started at 5:15), as I had previously scheduled Jesse Camp to be a panelist. I saw him during the morning, when the dealers were setting up, finding the just-right angles for things such as the "Rise to It" women's underwear. I have met the short-for-trees, towering-for-average-human before. In fact, when he was all the rage on MTV (yeah, that really happened), he was once at my aunt's house in Seaside Heights, NJ, filming an interview in her pool. So anyway, I figured I'd extend an invite, even if just for camp's (get it?) sake. Here's how that went:

Me: So, do you know Kiss that well?
Camp: Yeah, I do. That's cool. Quiz me, I know anything!
Me: Nah, dude - I'll quiz you at five o'clock on the stage.

Whatever. Camp's non-appearance worked out well. I have a piece of useless trivia about the Live Vault, and Streicher got to step up to the plate (okay, no more baseball analogies). While he was severely handicapped due to having to share a mike with the vociferous Eddie Trunk, who sits behind such a device for a living, Dave managed to get in some worthy commentary.

A.J. Confessore: The Jester
I've known Confessore a long time. We met in 1987, when he still called Tony, and when he told me I had cool hair (it was Poison meets the Ramones - you decide). After bonding through our mutual fanship of things like Vinnie's Creatures of the Night outfit, we became friends and have remained pretty tight.That's not to say we don't have our differences. In music, Kiss is our collective fork in the road, and when he turns towards Kix and Britny Fox (he owns the White Knuckle Scorin' soundtrack), I head for Elvis... and more Elvis.
Powers: Owns Chikara. Interviewed Eric Carr, and turned it into the hotly sought-after Eric Carr Tribute. When he's not collecting Star Wars toys, Tony plies his craft as a stand-up comic (as opposed to a sit-down one), so he's given to witty repartee.

Such a nice shirt for a father to buy for his early teenage son. Thanks anyway, Dad....

My Personal Live Thought Vault Log

5:15: Time to hit the stage. I'm as edgy as Gene during the Ace-puppet bashing sequence of Kiss Exposed ("Okay, now we go on."). Earlier in the day, I had conducted the on-stage interview with Bruce Kulick, and it went quite well. No one booed me, or threw a Kiss Beanie Babie at me. Maybe I'm accepted. Then again, Kiss fans sometimes don't like new things.... I put on my Lick it Up "slavegirl" T-shirt... Wait a minute.

Thought Vault Wait a Minute

How many of you are familiar with this shirt? I bought mine at my first ever Kiss show, which was in March of 1984 (go ahead and laugh - "Fits Like a Glove" was near-perfect, and "All Hell's Breakin' Loose" was in the set) at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. It's size medium, and official, as I bought it inside the house that the Rockettes built. This fiery number carries a copyright of 1984, courtesy of the Kiss Organization LTD.

On the front, there's a nice-sized logo (filled with a red/orange gradient scheme fairly close to something you would see on various products during the late '70s. All Lick it Up shirts had this exactly colored logo, which I found to be a nice touch of continuity - as was the inclusion of the Kiss Army insignia in the tourbook. Trust me, during the Lick it Up phase, you looked for any link to the past). A presumed woman (well, she looks a little like Boy George) is on the ground sitting with legs akimbo, holding Gene's Axe bass in her left gloved hand. There's fresh blood on the "blade." Due to this last feature, one might first assume that this intended-to-be-babe is not a "slavegirl," but a lady killer of some type. Upon close inspection, it becomes evident that she is bound ("Love in Chains?") in a Lick it Up video type of environment (read as: a ramp, fire). One of Paul's main Lick tour guitars is also part of this sadomasochistic scene. The "Phantom's" black and white zebra-skin BC Rich flying V (which was first seen during the Creatures tour) is resting like... a zebra (?) on the "slavegirl's" right boot/pump.

Speaking of which, at the tip of the right one is the name of the guy who (I'm guessing) designed this unique Kiss tee: Steven Isakson. Who is this guy? A former in-house designer at Winterland, or whatever company made the LIU product line? Hey, upon exactly whom was the "slavegirl" based? Diana Ross?

Now for the back of this nutty thing. The same logo is at the top, with G and P's instruments (Peter) criss-crossed against a background that resembles a star going supernova, or at least what I think they would look like from a nearby spaceship. The "slavegirl" is nowhere to be found.

Three more things: 1) Both guitars now have the appropriate manufacturing company logos on their head stocks (they don't on the front); 2) The Jackson Axe is now blood-free; 3) At the bottom of this big display of putting the X in clothes is the print "World Tour '84." World tour. Yeah, right. You know that I know that you know the band only played in the States in early 1984. Technically, this statement is correct if the shirt was created with the future's European Animalize jaunt in mind (remember, there is no particular mention of any album, and that would keep the shirts from looking like leftovers from the tank tour in December of '84). If this were the case, it would be a merchandising act without precedent in the Kiss world. It was never done afterward, either. There wasn't a jersey sold around the Hot in the Shade tour that read "World Tour 1996" so it would still be current up to and during the reunion or anything.

Who cleaned the blood off of Gene's bass? Did the "slavegirl" lick it up?

Are you confused? Well too bad, 'cause this shirt has me worked up. Take this "slavegirl" again. What's her deal, her motivation? Is she the only surviving girl from the Love Gun cover? What about this whole blasted concept? Admittedly, it's very heavy metal (the music genre) and very Heavy Metal, the magazine. But Kiss usually put themselves all over their shirts way before one-off characters (well, besides Mark St. John). Finally, was this shirt a strong seller? Do you own it? Steve Isakson, if you're reading this, please get in touch!

Now back to the first-person Live Vault log, already in progress....

Underneath the above, probably over-discussed garment, is my puffy-logo Alive II tour tee. (The two shirts were part of a little visual gag I had planned - and one that I think was responsible for Eddie making a blooper - see way below). Halfway throughout the proceedings, I would divest myself of the "slavegirl," only to have another Kiss shirt underneath (hee hee). I'm also equipped with the following visual aids and ice breakers in my trusty Thought Vault briefcase, conveniently located at my feet:

• One odd-sized photo of Vinnie in makeup (so sized because he was)
• One '76 tourbook - mint
• One "Flaming Youth" 45 (gotta love the picture sleeve)
• Two Asylum tourbooks. One has a little-known variation found in Bruce's live pictures pages. The background of one is pink, not the correct Kiss guitar player blue. The other book is "right". By the way, doesn't this program beat the Animalize one in terms of value?
• One 3.5x5" photo of Paul and Bruce live from Madison Square Garden, December, 1985. In it, BK is wielding a rather unwieldy blue guitar, kind of shaped like Paul's pink plucker in the "Tears are Falling" video.
• I am also armed with a list of possible discussion topics.

Cool. I take a deep breath like Paul before the penultimate scream in "I Still Love You" from MTV Unplugged and introduce the panelists to respectable applause. As everyone comes out, tripping over wires, mike stands and my briefcase to get to their seats, I think about where to start. Current events (undoubtedly you'll recall the initial hubbub about Kiss' decision to include "Heaven's on Fire," "Lick it Up" and "I Love it Loud" in the farewell set list.) I ask the panelists how they feel about this cross-pollination.

A.J. breaks the ice, supporting the decision. Streicher dissents. Gullic cites relativity. Trunk goes the statistical route, talking about airplay. The audience gets involved, shouting opinions. I flash the Vinnie photo. We pass a mike into the crowd from time to time. We're on our way, "Hey Mikey, he likes it!"

After eighteen glorious minutes, the first-ever Live Kiss Thought Vault comes to a screeching halt. We depart the stage... and continue to debate! Audience members join our gaggle, and expo personnel comment on how we got a rise out of everyone. For myself, it's mission accomplished.

The best thing about the Live Kiss Thought Vault was that everyone, from myself and the panelists, to the audience had a great time. It was something new that broke down the third wall at Kiss conventions.

The cast of the first ever Live Kiss Thought Vault, April 27, 2000. (Left to right) Dave Streicher, Ken Gullic, Ron Albanese, A.J. Confessore, Ed Trunk

Gonna Put My Dialogue in Your Fireplace

I'm currently in the process of putting together a Live Vault highlight reel, which might end up here in the Vault. Until then, below are a couple of transcriptions to further illustrate how things went.

#1: The Upset List

A.J: Should they (Kiss) not do their classic material, even though it's a different lineup?

Streicher, Streicher, Streicher (watch Airplane II): Classic? "Heaven's on Fire" was an MTV hit for four weeks!

A.J. (looking to muster audience support): "Heaven's..." is a classic song, folks. Am I right? (note: at this statement, one really tall guy in the crowd raised his arm, with a shirt in his fist - does this mean he agreed with A.J?)

Streicher: Hey... hey! I grew up with that, and I have memories associated with that, but doesn't make the song great. It's okay -

A.J. (on the ropes): Uh, uh...

Streicher: It's okay. Now, compare that to "Makin' Love" (note: the song, not the act), "Detroit, Rock City...."

Ron: You know, the thing is that they're not doing the choreography during "Lick it Up" (starts doing it). I have a problem with that.

Gullic: It's all relative (-ity) semantics.

Ron: Semantics?

Gullic: It's all up to the audience, the way they respond, they'll ultimately dictate what's gonna go into the set list. I mean, I'd love to hear Kiss perform "Rock Soldiers." It's a Kiss song, in my mind...

Trunk: What people....

Ron (with a face of disbelief): Wait, wait, wait a minute! "Rock Soldiers?"

Gullic: Well, you're gonna bring up Out of Control ever other minute, so -

Ron: There's nothing wrong with Out of Control....

Trunk: I don't agree with this, from a selfish standpoint, because I would like to see all the songs that you aren't sick of, and haven't heard a million times. The reality of it is, everyone in this room is here because they are hardcore Kiss fans... the hardcore Kiss fans only make up half of an arena audience... I think that's part of the problem. Before Kiss calls it quits, I'd like to see them go into a theater like the Beacon (in New York City)... charge whatever... and do a show for the fans.... totally obscure songs.

Gullic: We got that with Unplugged. "Sure Know Something," "World Without Heroes...."

#2: The Vault Gets Clothes Minded:

Gullic: I have a bigger problem with them being lazy and wearing the Destroyer costumes again. Very lame move, in my opinion....

Ron: Yeah. Who likes the Psycho Circus costumes? I think they're cheap versions of Destroyer....

Streicher: They look like Halloween costumes! (in an even more Ace-like voice) cheap facsimiles... Why recreate the past? How about going new.... Isn't that what they've always been about? (Trunk grabs Streicher's mike)

Trunk: They're going new because it's over. They're not going to spend the money and design the costumes. It's over.

A.J: You're a downer, Ed.

Ron (laughing): Yeah, you're being way too realistic here.

Trunk: There's a lot of people that still think this farewell tour is just a money-making scheme, and I disagree wholeheartedly.... There's another issue here. When the Eagles get together in their reunion, they can sit on stools, in glasses with acoustic guitars. When Kiss plays, they gotta put the costumes on and jump around, or else it ain't Kiss.

Ron: Yes, but the Eagles had new costumes.

Biggest Blooper

Like The Honeymooners, we were doing the Vault totally live (none of my parts were sampled). We hadn't really prepped, either. As such, mistakes were bound to occur. I didn't notice the following blunders until I watched the video, but they deserve mention for their chuckle factor.

What was the biggest, craziest blooper? Hands down, this one goes to Tony (A.J.), who actually said two very funny things. His calling "2,000 Man" by the name "Tow (rhymes with "wow") Thousand Man" was odd enough, but the funniest verbal gaffe came when the Eric Singer/Ron Howard lookalike asked, "How cool is it seeing Paul sing 'Heaven's on Fire' with a star in his mouth?" Needless to say, no one answered.

Honorable Mention: During an otherwise level-headed statement about set lists and what should appear in them, Eddie concluded by stating, "no expects to hear 'Spit' from Unholy." Hmm. Maybe it wasn't a mistake; Was Unholy the original title for Revenge (ha ha)?

The Shape of Things to Come

A fan get his picture taken with Ron after the Live Kiss Thought Vault (!)

Will there be another Live Kiss Thought Vault? I sure hope so! This first one, in spite of time, technical and a few organizational constraints (okay, logistics, on my part) was an implicit success. I loved it. The panelists enjoyed themselves. It was the first time that people of Vault-like minds came out from their modems and met face-to-face to discuss all things Kiss. To my knowledge, this was a universal first.

As for everyone else, the general feeling throughout the expo was that this inaugural Live Vault turned the NJ Kiss Expo on its ear. And then they got hear a Ramones tribute band, which made that ear twitch (in a good way).

Special Thanks: I want to once again thank all of the Thought Vault panelists and the audience, who were quite responsive throughout; "Marv," which I believe is the name of the helpful convention guy who was working the stage; Richie Ranno (always check out his Starz Web site at www.erols.com/starzcentral/kissexpo), who took a big risk by permitting this display of obsessiveness. I mean, what if I ran onto the stage shouting nothing but "free Vinnie Vincent?"

Thought Vault Reminders

1) The new version of the Eric Carr video biography Inside the Tale of the Fox officially has a September street date. The DVD version looks particularly amazing, and contains extra bits not found on the original video. Once extra "bit" (I'm psyched to say - thank you Loretta Caravello and Jack Sawyers) is my writing on the back cover. Buy it!

2) I also penned the liner notes to the latest Cheap Trick collection, The Authorized Hits. Whether or not you're a major fan, pick up this CD, as it has some alternate versions of (you got it) their hits, plus their theme song to "That '70s Show." Cheap Trick is a compilation heavy band, but this is the best yet. Besides, they're awesome, and should be opening for Kiss. Right, Dave Frey? Sony should have this out in the States by the end of next month at the latest.

3) Efforts are under way to ratchet up the speed at which I write the Thought Vault. Some of you have mailed me with letters that evoke the chorus to the fifth song on the first side of Lick it Up. Trust me, I'm catching up, and will be using many of your mailings in a near-future installment. Also, thank you for that informative and fun correspondence - it'll be put to good use!

*You didn't think I really did this, did ya?