Touching on the Criss Crisis

We join the author, whose random thoughts related to one of the most controversial Kiss happenings ever are already in progress.

A rejected pose for Cat #1. No, it's me, in 1979. Not the neatest job (I was being hounded by my mother to go to bed), but it was done with the Kiss Your Face Makeup Kit by Remco yeah!

I am an unabashed Peter Criss fan. I've always liked his drumming, a body of work rife with parts that made those early Kiss songs so memorable (a selected list that jumps to my consciousness: the end of the second verse of the studio version of "Let Me Go, Rock 'n' Roll,"* the laid back rolls in Kiss' "Nothing to Lose," the ending of "Calling Dr. Love," all of "Got Love for Sale"). What has been historically really cool about Peter visually is that in Kiss photos he's always played a classy, cool cat (I'm not going to get into those early knife-wielding shots - the guy needed time to perfect his character, after all) as opposed to a tiger. Peter has never posed his hands like claws, or got on all four limbs in an effort to convey his feline persona. Of course, this mellow style in front of the camera (I'm mostly thinking of the '70s) was an ironic contrast to the Criss' legendary off stage behavior, which was a little more ä kinetic. At age seven, I made my former-barber dad cut my hair like Peter's, using the '75 "eyes closed" poster as a guide (this one really got around, which is surprising since it bore no official fine print). I skipped going "salt and pepper," though I questioned my father about what that meant (I first learned of the phrase though a 16 Magazine Kiss story). In 1978 I bought the Cat's Kiss solo album first, for $4.99 at the local Bradlee's (my $4.00 weekly allowance provided the main funding, with the rest covered by my old man -- the extra buck and five percent sales tax!). I would later score my vinyl copy of Out of Control at the same store, but like an idiot would pass up the "By Myself" single. In more recent years, I've given up a large chunk of my leisure time to author to lengthy tributes to both of the above albums. Do you want the truth? My father is Peter Criss. Only kidding.

Green tinted tangent: Were any of you really that horrified, shocked, agape, perplexed, stupefied, flummoxed, etc. when you first heard Peter's '78 disc? Did you simply accept it as a showcase of a small part of the overall Kiss sound? Don't rush to answer -- give yourselves at least three "Strutter '78" drum intros to think. Then, compare your recollection of your initial reaction to first hearing Gene's solo outing. Which one confused you more? I think the red one was more of a shocker. Mind you, the Demon's album has to have possibly the greatest Kiss album opener in that Godzilla vs. Mothra-style passage (hit the headphones and crank it up for amazing texture). After it comes the great, but so-'70s "Radioactive," which around the word "water" totally dismantles the buildup. Lately, I've been alternately listening to both of these albums. I'm just a 1977-'78 kind of guy at heart - and 1985 too. Kiss now can't do anything to change anything about those years! Anyway.Yeah, good old Peter. I always favored him, and Paul Stanley. They're two heroes of mine, for many different reasons.

Look at this. Was this lovely album cover the inspiration for Eric Singer's "Cat" makeup? Did Eric Singer inspire Peter's hair? Did anyone ever cut out that guitar pick?

This is supposed to be fun

The Thought Vault is the product of my zeal over Kiss, and I don't like the notion of using it as a soapbox, at least a serious one. For instance, in August of 1999 I started writing and rewriting, then finally trashing a gigantic Vault. The topic was my disenchantment with the band at that particular point in time. In short, the whole Psycho Circus era left me cold. I didn't like the album, tour, costumes, action figures or TV performances (barring Mad TV). The writing experience wasn't a total loss, for it was then that I once again not only realized, but also accepted that that at the center of Kiss lies not a heart, but a cash register. We the fans supply the heart (and cash). I don't mean to be obvious here, but Kiss is not just a rock group, it's a business. They've been a brand more than a real band, and product will remain on the market as long as there is demand. Thusly, this latest turn of drum-related events, is really a slight changing of the Kiss formula, a "New Coke" for consumers. Incidentally, I don't mind Simmons' "business over all " ideals" I respect him for it, and don't have to buy into every one of his acts of avarice. Hey, where's my Kiss golfing towel? Besides, change is a good thing, right?

Cat #2: Barney Rubble is back

Kiss 2001 is Simmons, Stanley, Frehley and Singer. This lineup is the stuff of fantasy; a post on the KISS ASYLUM boards during times when there isn't any news to discuss. The scary thing is that this most unlikely of scenarios was borne of cold, hard reality ($). I have never been a fan of Eric Singer's "more feet, less hands" style, but I will admit that from Paul Stanley's 1989 solo tour forward, he has made his mark in Kisstory as a relatively down-to-earth, top-notch musician, and to a lesser extent, vocalist. When I saw the Paul Stanley Band live at Brooklyn's L'amour (I luckily missed Warrant's opening set) I thought Singer was the greatest. Looking and listening back (thanks, Byron), I think he made a mess of many a Kiss classic, and his playing during those shows is quite dated. As time went on, I soured on Singer even more. By the end of the Revenge tour, I was thinking, boy, does his rely on his feet. What's with that harmonica? Ugh, those headbands!

'92: "Love Gun," don't run

The Revenge club and arena tours are totally different animals in terms of performance. The club shows were intense, with the band acting like four Genes. Though Kiss isn't a metal band, this "ferocious" Kiss had the right spirit at the right time. It came as soon as it went. By the U.S. arena dates (I'm not really up on the England shows, would someone like to help?) reality circa 1992 had taken its toll, and Kiss lost much of their club-swing edge. Gene was suddenly just a heavy metal Bluto (or Brutus), with that goatee, "offensive" T-shirts and clip-on earrings. Though some shows were still great (the tour opener in Allentown was as strong a Kiss show as any other), the band slipped into autopilot here and there. Watch "Love Gun" on Kiss Konfidential to see a sleepy Kiss, filmed at Auburn Hills, Detroit. After starting out with a flurry of dance moves that would make Paula Abdul jealous (well, it was the early '90s), Paul doesn't slow down markedly, he almost stops dead. Don't give me that old excuse that he had to sing. In '84 he would go the distance of the New York Marathon on stage every night and still sing his head off. Even today, the Starchild is unleashes a unique repertoire of moves during his favorite song that could make the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders jealous. Back to Gene. Did you ever notice the part song where he almost totally wipes out? After hanging out near the spray-painted subway entrance (now that was cool), the god of blunder begins to make his way back to the main stage area, where the water bottles were kept. As he steps with a pleather-covered leg, he is so seemingly bored he trips over a tiny step. The bassist couldn't blame a puddle from a "40-ft waterfall" on this tour; that was one of the features of the Hot in the Shade stage, as asserted in Circus in early 1990 (In that Kiss feature, Gene stated that the band were considering putting "War Machine" back into the set!).

Master and Slave? One of these Cats is cheaper for Kiss to have as a pet. I'm not sure if this question has been answered, but did Eric do his own makeup? It's a touch feminine in spots. Since he's now part of a farewell, why didn't he have his face done like Pete's on the first album cover (the "beatnik cat")?

Return to Singer

So, I was never really sold on Eric Singer's interpretations of Kiss material (it was cool of him to concede that he can't cop the Criss feel in "Rock and Roll All Nite"), but Unplugged was a pleasant surprise. The Cleveland native was great on the skins and mike for that outing. It was a though the pressure was off of Eric, since the whole band was trying something new, and the result was a looser, less-robotic approach to performing Kiss material. Singer, played not like Peter Criss, or Eric Carr, but with a style well-suited to Kiss. Since his days with Kiss, Eric Singer has chewed a lot of gum (ever notice that?) and played with a DAT tape at many a Kiss convention. He's also stayed afloat by appearing on numerous tribute albums, taking the occasional Gilby Clarke gig, joining up with Alice Cooper, and hanging out with Gerri Miller. He's seemed a little bitter at times (well, he probably has had a rough go of it from time to time), not choosing his words as carefully as the always thoughtful Bruce Kulick. Still, he never burned his Kiss bridges in a business where connections are everything, and now he gets to be Peter Criss for awhile. It's not a smooth transition: Just like the untimely passing of Eric Carr, he has to come in on the heels of an emotionally charged situation.

Character is destiny?

How come during all this makeup business no one has said, "but we know what Eric Singer already looks like!" Only kidding. Though I was secretly harboring hope for a new character, it stood to reason that at this stage of the game Kiss would not venture to unveil another makeup design. Their creative life cycle is over. Then again, what could the guy be? Imagine the press release quote: "I dug deep in my personality, and became... 'The Penguin.'" Still, I was actually totally fine with all business until I saw the snapshot. I actually winced. I don't think Gene, Paul and Ace know exactly how sacred the Kiss characters are to us. Wasn't Paul's quote about Eric becoming a kitty something like that Kiss wants to give people exactly what they want to see? I don't think he understands or cares that fans aren't demanding to see whiskers, they want the guy to whom they belong. That's Peter Criss. What else can we do? We could postulate that Singer hasn't become the Cat, he's a cat. Yeah, that's it. Peter, the ruling jungle Catman, is sending one of his loyal minions to conquer the jungles of Japan and Australia while he presides over his home lair. C'mon, at least I'm trying.

Conclusion

I don't like seeing Eric Singer in current Kiss, but won't mind hearing it. Eric Singer on the drums behind Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and Ace Frehley in the full-blown, original-style live Kiss format may not be a sight to behold, but one to behear (that's not really a word). Bring on the bootlegs! I think Kiss will sound powerful, kind of like the Unmasked tour (that feels like a good reference point, since that Aussie jaunt had similar circumstances) but rougher, and without high-pitched toms that sound like Hawaiian bongos. I have a suspicion that Gene and Paul like bridging together the makeup and mask-free eras of Kiss. It might be a pride issue; though they acknowledge that that they were off the rails a bit during their less theatrical times, they survived and are champions of a sort once again. Aside from putting a few numbers into the set, bringing back Singer represents a major crossing of the cosmic strings of Kiss time. Those of you who laid out Yen and Aussie dollars (and otherwise, you plane jumpers) absolutely have a right to be extra upset. You wanted a proper goodbye, not some odd reconfiguration of Kiss. For all of us, as long as we have memories (and houses full of Kiss stuff), we'll have Kiss our way, on tour forever in our disc players, VCRs and view master reel sets. Once has to wonder how Peter really feels. We'll know in time, but for now, as he sang in a number on his "green" album, let's go with "we've been apart so many times before, one more time won't change things" Maybe that's a touch sappy, but appropriate.

Here's a quick update on my book, Easy Catman, They are Serious: The Complete Guide to Kiss Meets the Phantom

I have been deluged with e-mails of support, movie quotes and trivia challenges. Reading them has been like a ride on the great Colossus roller coaster at Magic Mountain. For those of you who have no idea what I'm typing about, stop pussyfootin' around, and high tail it (get it?) to the press release: www.kissasylum.com/vault/phantombook/ Please remember that if you love the movie, you'll enjoy this companion. If you hate it, you'll still like the book, as I will present all sides of the Phantom controversy. If you've never seen Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, but just love Magic Mountain, and/or have a strange attraction to fictitious amusement park research and development maniacs, you'll enjoy the text too. Right now, the plan is to debut the Easy Catman diary by late spring, early summer. Beforehand, I would like to tie up some loose ends with the Thought Vault. I am sitting on a lot of information related to all of the features I've written thus far, and am planning to put it all together in a "spare parts" or "greatest hits" edition. Most of the new information has come from you, though you may not remember it! Here's a refresher: If you've sent me something, and my reply was something like, "can I use this?" rest assured that it will happen. I will (sing like the chorus of Ace's "Separate") dis-sem-i-nate. Grab a hold of your girl: What is it with everyone and Wendy O. Williams? The "Lost Kiss Album?" feature has proven to have the most longevity in terms of reader response.

*Asterisk Area: The phrase "let me go, rock 'n' roll" is never once sung in its entirety in its namesake song, making it a unique entry in the Kiss cannon where a song's title isn't burned into your brain grooves via non-stop repetition.