Preface

1996: After a sixteen year absence from their home world, the individuals known as Peter Criss (can you name a time when his name was officially listed first?), Ace Frehley (hint: his was listed second at the same time), Paul Stanley, and Gene Simmons have found their way through the cosmos, and reunited on Earth as Kiss. Their mission, as in the past, is to save the planet from rock-n-roll boredom. So far they have been wildly successful. The group has rallied masses of supporters, and has spared millions from inferior concerts, and listening to Revenge.

This is no mean feat, for in the band's absence many misguided, selfish beings (other groups) have cropped up to brainwash weakened-through-withdrawal music fans. Most contingents did not last past the initial reappearance of Kiss, but some survived, dying slowly. One faction has been displaying a giant fruit at their meetings, to sweeten their appeal. Another continues to release propaganda film after propaganda film, all with virtually the same footage, of 18-year old models and cyberboys, in a continued effort to sway the rock populace into joining their camp.

Yes, the four members of Kiss have reclaimed the thrones of the rock-and roll wasteland. It has been done with an extraordinary force that mortals can only begin to comprehend. However, Kiss did not use all of their power during their re-emergence. The people know it. The four know it. Their strongest weapon is music. Kiss can make it like no other band on the planet. If they make new exciting sounds, the final product will forever, not temporarily, establish them as the kings of rock and roll, and permanently spare the world the inferior efforts of others.

In spite of the awesome power Kiss has displayed in the last year and a half, there are those-even among the believers-who are not sure the group can do it. As ambivalence takes their souls, doubters are scrambling for indicators that show that Kiss will succeed, for in their hearts they know that it has to be, to save the world...

Introduction Man, that is the last time I eat a cheeseburger, read the story inside (Music From) The Elder's gatefold sleeve, and go straight to bed! The reunion tour is history, and historical in the truest sense: not just over, but a happenstance that has altered the course of the future in a profound way. While Kiss is in relative seclusion beginning work on an opus that has more riding on it than Ron Jeremy, fans cannot help but do some nail biting. Heck, I am down to my knuckles.

When I think about the original Kiss creating new music, I am at once besieged by a flurry of emotion that spans the negative and positive sides of the spectrum. I think, can they pull this one off? Can they produce another Love Gun? Another Rock and Roll Over? Another Best of the Solo albums? I am never sure they can. This month's issue is the result of sleepless nights and pensive days devoted to this subject. Hopefully at the end we will all know what the odds are of a new, old Kiss album being a classic.

When I first began wasting time, ahem, researching this topic, it was brought to my attention during a fact-finding trip to Washington that there are others, in academia, who have been working on the same topic. I contacted the leader of a small group at Magic Mountain University in California to see if I could arrange a data swap. They agreed to an exchange of vital information that will mutually benefit our endeavors. At first I could not fathom why they would require a list of stuntmen agencies who specialize in "using people who look nothing like the stars," but regardless, I complied immediately. In return, they sent me transcripts of their discussions. Upon reading them I was impressed. Their work is intense, almost manic. Some excerpts will be included in my report.

The following are the criteria I am using to see whether or not the current Kiss is equipped to make a new album a winner:

Criterion#1 I have devised a "Division of Contribution" formula. This concept, in roughly estimated percentages, determines the level of involvement each member should be at to make a new, old Kiss album a successful effort. In other words, if it were a perfect state ("You know, everywhere around the world we try to tell people there are no borders, there are no providences, there are no presidents. There is only one nation, that's Kissnation, there's only one rock-n-roll national anthem- that's Rock and Roll All Night, party every day." Hmm, I would definitely vote for Paul) this measured amount of input from everybody in the band would definitely yield an excellent record.

Good DOC= (4G+4P)+2P&A

A solid Kiss album should contain ten songs. Of those, four each should be written by Gene and Paul, with Ace and Peter providing the remaining two in various combinations (one from each, two from Ace, etc.). The presence of outside writers may appear to be an uncontrollable variable problem, but I will clear things up via an excerpt from the Magic Mountain transcripts.

Student #1 (Melissa): Professor, what about co-writers? The Coronels? The Penridges? The Poncias?

Professor Deveraux: Please call me Ab. My dear, I can see why Sam so willingly let me hide that mind contolling device inside his shirt! For our intents and purposes, the Kiss members involved in a song's writing get credit! Remember, the co-writer issue didn't become complicated until after Alive II. Then they ran into me! Mr. Poncia did not come into the Kiss album picture until the group stopped being "vintage," according to this report's parameters. If we were to try to apply any formula to Kiss post 1979, we would fail miserably. From that point on, co-writers appeared all over their releases. Weissman. Beauvoir. Turgon. Bah! The band should have let me destroy them!

Melissa: The only thing you succeeded in destroying was Sam's shirt! You didn't even hide the mind controller to well, anyway. The Starchild found it, from standing in back of my fiancÈ, ten feet away! But I understand what your saying.

KISS Catalog Sample
Album	Gene	Paul	Peter	Ace
Hotter Than Hell	4	3	1	2
Rock and Roll Over	4	4	2	0*
Love Gun	4	4	1	1

The Division of Contribution formula can be successfully applied to, and account for, some of Kiss's best records. Hopefully you aren't confused by some of the categorizing of the songs. Another variable that surfaces here is the fact that Kiss members sometimes collaborated, and a song's writer was not always it's singer. In those cases, attribution is given on an individual song basis. By evaluating a specific track, it is easy to know whose song it has become. Consider "God of Thunder" and "Hard Luck Woman." Both were written by Paul, but are classified according to their singers, Gene and Peter respectively. The former is the musical embodiment of Gene's character, and the former was pounced on by the Cat, and made his own.

Finally, there is the variable of covers on Kiss albums. Do not worry about this one, they cannot write or sing, they are just pictures! Actually, I am referring to Kiss's infrequent recordings of others artist's songs. For simplicity's sake, for covers credit is given to the band member who sings the most. For instance, "Kissin' Time" goes to Simmons, and "Then She Kissed Me" naturally goes to Paul.

* One can only speculate how Ace's reportedly intended Rock and Roll Over inclusion, "Queen For a Day", would have affected the album's DOC. I think the band would have bumped "See You in Your Dreams" or "Baby Driver" to make space. In those days, Kiss apparently was not too keen on including more than ten songs on a studio album- probably because they put out one every six months!

Exact application of the DOC formula will produce a great Kiss album; empirical analysis says so. However, there are certain preliminary criteria that must be met to ensure that the members can achieve their goals.

Criterion #2 The band member's performance. This area encompasses each individual's playing and singing- how well and how much. Do not overlook this section! It is crucial! With this band, all it has taken previously were poker games, movie roles, or technology to thwart an album's chances of overall success. Input from each Kiss member on their official instrument is especially important. God knows the lack of it took down Hot in the Shade...

The above wrong doings of too little involvement are not always detrimental. A little passing of instruments around is sometimes good to keep things fresh and get different sounds. Gene has stated (in Goldmine, early reunion era) that he played rhythm guitar on "See You in Your Dreams," and I suspect Paul drove the four-string on "Mr. Speed." Bruce ("I never presumed this was going to be my gig") mentioned in a 1989-ish Guitar magazine that he played bass on "Love's a Slap in the Face," and it is an excellent part, actually very much like early Gene.

But too much of anything is, well, too much of anything, and a Kiss album dies without the proper amount of input from each and every member, in "every age, and every time."

Criterion #3 Kiss must be in a great collective mood. Good times yield great albums. Rare is the case that Kiss has produced a good solid record under dire circumstances*. Two possible exceptions may be the wonderfully dark Creatures of the Night, and perhaps Revenge. But those albums reflect their times, and not as much the original Kiss spirit. "Ralph and Millie's favorite band", especially its original lineup, does not seem capable of separating personal and musical moods.

This being the case, Kiss already has one base covered. Spirits are immensely high with each and every member. Of course they are! Kiss is more popular than ever. Ace was finally able to stop playing "Breakout" two hundred times a year. The next record Peter appears on will be on a label bigger than $immons Records. Finally, Gene and Paul will no longer have to resort to telling Western World journalists how they fill stadiums in Third World countries. Things are great! Besides about a thousand ridiculous lawsuits, there are no black clouds above this band.

*It is generally acknowledged that Dynasty was the first sub-par original lineup record. Perhaps the band's misadventures the year prior to its release were to blame.

Melissa: If it were not for you, Kiss wouldn't have Vini Poncia, and probably would have made Dynasty a real winner.

Professor Deveraux: My plot to destroy them had nothing to do with it! Like I introduced Gene to Cher! Like it was I who overdubbed Peter's lines with Plasticman's voice! That's it for today! Run along! I have research to do for my machines. Oh, what's the use in trying to talk science with a businessman?

Melissa: What?

Professor Deveraux: Here class, free passes.

Student #2 (Chopper): Chopper doesn't listen to anybody.

Professor Deveraux: Thinking to himself. Boy, do I want Melissa! I'm glad no one figured out that my lust for her was the real reason for me becoming the "Phantom." Kiss destroyed themselves; it was time for them to face the music, but they didn't listen. It was just like the situation with my dual-turbine engines; the shakedown cruise showed that a break was needed to tune things up. The group went full-tilt for five years They didn't stop, and a rift was caused within the band. As for the work on my engines, I did apply for the Nobel prize.

"Hey Big Ben, this is Rubber Ducky, over. You know that new Kiss album is gonna be smokin', comeback."

But it is not the Seventies. Here in 1997, the source of my ambivalence about the original Kiss pulling off recording a great new album is: their age! That's right! The ravages of time are on my mind. Take Deveraux for example. He created Kiss to destroy Kiss (some might say Gene and Paul tried this in the '80's, but not me), and he looked like hell for it! I do know what this has to do with it, but Kiss is getting up there! Sure, they pulled off looking good again, and okay, they sounded great playing the old material, but doing a brand new album is the last, and hardest, frontier.

Evaluations The following section is divided into four parts, one for each member. The sections will review everyone in the group, employing the selected criteria, that in theory can predict whether or not the new, old Kiss album will be good.

Subject one: Gene Simmons

The Demon is poised to make an excellent showing on the new, old Kiss album. His musicianship is a great as it ever was, although for a while (no, make that twelve years) I was concerned about his abilities. I used to listen to songs like "Thou Shall Not," and think God, is this the same guy who played bass on "All the Way?" But beginning with the 1995 conventions, Gene has been on the comeback trail. Carnival features some aggressive if not vintage playing from Gene, which further suggests that he has rediscovered his instrument. On the reunion tour, he has further shown me that all of his chops are there. In fact, I haven't thought so highly of his playing since the '70's. I recently viewed the Rock Am Ring Euro MTV special, and Simmons was right on the money. In "Watchin' You" and "I was Made For Lovin' You" not an octave was missed, and other numbers like "Black Diamond" were nailed to the ground by the Punisher. Mind you , this was live, in full costume, while running around.

Thanks to technology, Gene's vocals should be classic on the next record. Originally, I harbored some doubt in this area, as much as about his playing. Unplugged did it; stripped bare, the Demon-as-a-Beatle voice showed some wear and tear. I guess singing like a monster for twenty five years will do that. But after hearing Carnival of Seattle, I mean Carnival of Souls, and gig after gig in '96 and '97, I am confident that Gene's lead and harmonies will be better than ever. Remember, it will be a studio album. Just like Alive III. It may be true that his voice has weakened through the years (on tour, he WAS a frog in Japan, and at New Jersey's Meadowlands), but while recording he will have all day, all night, or even all week to deliver a part perfectly. And he won't be in makeup, on stage in front of thousands. He probably will be wearing one of those awful baseball caps he loves, and a pair of leather pants. The only audience will be assorted band members and Gerri Miller. He can double his parts ("this is a harmonizer. Kiss has a song called "God of Thunder", where Gene talks like a monster."), and employ countless other "aids" to sound the way he should.

Standard Prediction (SP): Gene is in incredibly high spirits these days, and seems to really want to show the world that Kiss rules. He will work his ass off. I also think his songs will be a mixture of his old style lyrical themes (you are women. I am the only man) and the heaviness of latter day Simmons (his songs, not him).

Subject two: Paul Stanley

Evaluating Paul ("Heavy Metal never really went away") Stanley presents me with a case of experimenter bias. Although Peter was my favorite member early on (in fact, I routinely tortured my then barber-by-avocation father to cut my hair like the Cat's), I soon came to being a major Paul fan. In the '80's, when I was coming of age as a testosterone-challenged Flamin' Youth (the straight kind), Paul was basically the frontman of Kiss. He mesmerized me with his talent, on and off stage, of course all of which I tried to emulate. Speaking of offstage, does anyone remember Paul's week-long stint as co-host of Radio 1990 on the USA Network, in August of 1985? As for Peter, he was at that point AWOL from the world, living in an obscurity that guys like Mark St. John and Loz Netto occupy. Today Paul Stanley is still my number one rock and roll hero. By the way, have you been to the fan-provide Paul web page? Anyway....

The Starchild seems eager to put out 100% for the new, old Kiss album. He has been publicly emphasizing past achievements like "God of Thunder" and "Love Gun," which implies that he knows his mark. The only problem is that on the creativity side of things, Paul seems to be drying up a bit. On Revenge, his songs for the most part were lackluster, and only memorable for the work of Eric Singer, and especially Bruce Kulick. Some were plagued by similarities in arrangement; "Take it Off," "I Just Wanna,"and "Heart of Chrome" all featured mid-sections where the band slowed down to sing a nursery rhyme bridge:

"Ooh, move your sweet body closer. I want to be alone with you. C'mon and be my fantasy, there's so much you and I could do..."

"Wake up, baby, don't you sleep. I can't take this one more week. If I can't go out to play, I can't make it one more day."

"You told me lies about all that you feel. I realize now that nothing was real. You took everything you could beg, borrow, steal. Ooh, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall... yeah, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."

Chopper: Geez, Deez, those were great lyrics. Check out these: and the walls come tumblin' down!

Sam: There's something going on here I don't understand. I'll give it a quick look, and I'll meet you back here in an hour.

Chopper: Are you talking to me, nerd? (thinking to himself) What does Melissa see in him?

Other Paul songs on Psycho Circus of Souls like "The Jungle" (listen for the Collective Soul knockoff in the pre-choruses) and "Take a Look in the Mirror" are different than anything ever done by him, but this is attributable to the contributions of ex-Kissers. Bruce climbs to the top of "The Jungle" with his guitars, and "...Mirror" is an Eric ("...also referred to as a bop bag.") Singer showcase. In fact, the drummer's performance on this one finally has proven to me that he is NOT a robot, and also that he does NOT always have to rely on his feet for fills. Also, I prefer Paul feeling faces in mirrors, as oppposed to his using of them to show evidence of internal struggle. It sure is not 1975 anymore....

On the Alive Worldwide tour Paul's guitar playing was great, although there has been an occasional debate or two on the possible use of samples to fill up holes in his sound. Personally, I have no idea. I do know that his playing was ten times better than the Crazy Nights tour: back then, you could not even tell at some points that his guitar was plugged in! Like Gene, 1995 was a turning point for the Starchild, and he has since reasserted himself on his instrument, which is good, since....

...he needs to play a lot of rhythm guitar on the new, old Kiss album to give it that extra kick, and old-style flavor. A fact that fans sometimes overlook is that Paul's guitar playing was an important component to the classic Kiss sound. He drove tunes like "Strutter", and bulked up others like "Room Service." In fact, if Paul had played more on the aforementioned Revenge album, it would have sounded truer to the original sound of the band.

The last area on the performance side of evaluating Paul is his singing. I think he will put in some incredible performances, for the basically same main reasons Gene will: he will be inspired, and will work hard to get things right. In a previous Thought Vaultt (issue #1) I traced the evolution of Paul's vocals, which generally ran from him having a (relatively) limited range earlier on, and increasing it by 1982. The last couple of years have written a new chapter: his voice is now deteriorating just a bit. Can anyone argue the statement that "I Still Love You" on Animalize Live and Uncensored blows away the version found on Unplugged? This is not just because of effects, although the use of them on the former had somewhat of an effect (heh heh). Watch any video from the reunion tour. When Paul sings low, he is fine, and damn vintage. But when he starts reaching to higher notes, he frequently comes off as whiny and strained. Believe me, it hurts just as much to write this as it must be to read it!

SP for PS: Paul is capable, and will achieve his estimated target percentage goal. A good guarantee would be his utilizing a new trump card, the Ace up his sleeve. I feel that working with the lead guitarist is something that Stanley should do: it would be mutually beneficial to the two members. Paul's eternal melodic sense, combined with Ace's unwavering skill to come up with some great riffs, could produce songs of stellar proportions. This would cut down on the outside writer input too. I want the new, old Kiss to be as pure as possible.

Subject three: Ace Frehley

First, here is my number one gut feeling in regard to how Ace's playing will be on the upcoming platter: Stupendous. So much for trying to be objective! Trust me, I am a tough critic. Some things just defy logic (the continued success of Aerosmith, the failure of the Creatures Tour), and the Spaceman's guitar playing is a prime example. He has never lost his natural ability to create engaging solos. Songwriting is another story, however.

In the 1970's, this was not the case. In spite of his indulgences and excesses of the mind numbing and altering kind, Ace always managed to come up with an excellent song or two for almost every Kiss record. In 1978 he somehow put together an entire record of great music.

By the 1980's Ace's pen began to dry up, and his material ran hot and cold. Only a handful of tracks stand up to the prior decade's standard of quality, like "Dolls," "Insane," "Juvenile Delinquent," (how could this one not be a winner? Ace revised his "Hard Times" solo in it!) and "Words Are Not Enough." By 1989 Ace's creativity went into hibernation. The album Trouble Walkin' is tough and lean in attitude, but its weak song selection really deserved the title Trouble Writin'.

Melissa: Professor, Speaking of Ace's solo career, I noticed that a somewhat military message was put forth at times, especially in the "Rock Soldiers" song and video. I have deduced that this must have been done to extend the original Kiss Army concept to his audience. And why not? The comparing of fans to members of the Armed Forces conjures an image of unity, strength, devotion, and bad haircuts, which the video had in spades. The fans feel that they are not alone, and outsiders (like journalists and Socialists) can have it impressed upon them that the fans are active supporters, and just passive consumers.

Professor Deveraux: Boy, what a waste of tuition money you are! Kiss Army, Rock Soldiers...PISH POSH! Both ideas were obviously stolen from me and my creations! By the way, don't you agree that my Freddie the Fox exhibit looked better than that garish Kiss cutup?

Sam: There's something going on here I don't understand. I'll give it a quick look, and I'll meet you back here in an hour.

Melissa: (thinking to herself) Where is he always running to? We never get anything done.

Did I say that Ace's output has been scarce? It has barely been official. There have been only two songs released commercially, "Cherokee Boogie," and "Take Me To The City." However, his last demo, recorded around '94-'95, is a small collection of songs that serve as proof that Ace's guitar smoke comes from a fire. The notorious and frequently performed "Sister" is a jagged piece of rock that with the proper refining can be a Kiss classic. If you know the song (if you do not, track it down A.S.A.P.), you know what I mean. The double bass part could be replaced with a less mechanical "Deuce" beat, and Ace's vocals could be worked on to meet Kiss's higher standards, and presto! Ace would have his "Shock Me" for the '90's. Are you paying attention, Kiss?

My Ace Frehley Standard Prediction: In 1997 Ace has more than enough rocket fuel left to propel himself past the contribution barrier. His talent now has the proper grounding to safely conduct his power. Once again, working with Paul would be a great way to go, but only for writing songs. For solos, just roll the tape and let Ace fly.

Subject four: Peter Criss

Determining Peter's Potential Positively Presents me with a Possible Problem of being Partial in Producing a Prognosis. In other words, The Cat is my favorite Kiss drummer, now and forever. His style is one that is ineffable. Need convincing? Give a spin to "Got to Choose," "100,000 Years," "Love 'em and Leave 'em," and "Rockin' in the USA" I never tire of these songs, thanks mainly to the crisp, lively, and punchy drumming performances found within them. Peter's approach to those and every other song was novel: he applied Rock, Pop, and Jazz techniques to the predominant Hard Rock sound the band had- and struck gold. Definitely an unlikely combination, Peter's style added a unique character to early Kiss's sound.

Unfortunately, that was then, this is now. In 1997 Peter is a different drummer. During the Alive Worldwide tour, his watered down interpretations of his own parts, and obvious reliance on drum triggers (sound magnifiers) had me shaking my head. He was playing like a pussycat! This was especially noticeable at the outset of the tour. Many songs ended up being played slow, and lost some of their impact ("Take Me").

On the bright side, by the end of the Kiss comebackmarathon Peter started being a little more adventurous around the kit. Later renditions of "Shock Me," and "Let Me Go, Rock-n-Roll" were performed in high gear by the whiskered one, and it made a huge difference. Hopefully this momentum will carry over to the next record.

Peter singing lead vocals is always a treat, and his recent performances on record and live have been no exception. "The Truth" from his Cat #1 collection shows his prowess behind the main mike. In concert, "Black Diamond" has never been done so well, either. Through the reunion tour's setlist, Peter added spark to backups on many numbers like "Do You Love Me," and of course "Rock and Roll All Night." On the new collection, I am looking forward to hearing Pete sing Purrfectly (had to do it).

Peter will perform adequately on the new, old Kiss album, but will he be able to write acceptable material for it? With regard to Kiss and writing, Peter has always had a problem that is two-tailed: 1) The tunes he writes are different from the main Kiss style, and 2) they are usually weak, even when not stacked up against what "Real Kiss" is perceived to be. For every gem like "Dirty Livin' or "Blue Moon Over Brooklyn," there has been many a stinker in his litter box, like the whole first half of Cat #1. I realize that he did not write all of these by himself, but it was his record. He gets final say. For a man his age to sing a number like "Bad Attitude" is a major Faux Pas (faux-PAW?).

For Peter to achieve to necessary level of contribution, he will need a strong co-writer who will enhance the cat's style, and not bury it in songs about riots, or whatever else was on that #1 CD. Peter said in Goldmine that he would love to write with Paul. I would love to see that happen.

Standard Prediction for Peter Criss: I am optimistic about how well Peter will do on the next Kiss outing. When I judge him against the criteria, I realize that the Peter Criss of 1977 was probably more of a liability! Nonetheless, the drummer has the most work ahead out of anyone else in the band. Just keep ex-solo band members away from the studio.

Results/Conclusion

The criteria of the Division of Contribution formula reveal a favorable prognosis for a new, old Kiss album. The system quantifies the strength of earlier Kiss albums and determines what exactly made them successful. This method's specificity in evaluating each member ensures greater accuracy in forming a prediction.

Remember! Good DOC= (4G+4P)+2P&A

Even through less scientifically valid means (I'm sure), people are reaching the same conclusion all over the world....

Melissa: So the original Kiss will put out a great album! My data says so! Thank you, Professor Deveraux! Kiss lives forever!

(the professor slams his desk, realizing that his exact science has revealed a truism he can't bear to accept)

Professor Deveraux: No! First the park, and now this! I will destroy all of you!

Sam: There's something going on here I don't understand. I'll give it a quick look, and I'll meet you back here in an hour.