KISStock 2000
By: Bill Francavilla

With all of the "Sound Off's" lately it seems like a lot of bitching and moaning like "Why didn't Peter play on this," or "Why is there so much merchandising?" or "Why can't they play this song, instead of that one?" Yeah, I admit, I'm guilty of this myself.

So now, instead of focusing on something entirely negative, why don't we focus on something positive?

One big question that everyone has raised is, "How should KISS end it, when it's over?" The big answer to this question, pretty much seems to be "Release the boxed set, put out one more album, and one last tour." Fair enough. But shouldn't something bigger happenn than that?

Most people reading this probably didn't grow up in the 60's (myself included). Most people reading this would also probably not to care to have lived in the 60's either (myself included). It was a time when everyone was happy, flashing peace signs wherever they went, and the music was all peace and love, blah blah blah, puke puke puke. Then when bands like Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Alice Cooper came out the peace and love thing was all over. KISS added to the fire of that but brought back the feel good aspect. Instead of peace and love, it was partying and sex.

The one thing about the 60's that was actually cool and is still considered cool was Woodstock. Think about it. An event for three days where there is nothing but a bunch of people having a great time and listening to music.

KISS is the band right now that is the center of it all. Why not put together a three day festival honoring them? Wouldn't it be great? Bands that KISS helped get on the way and KISS-related bands playing, even bands that KISS was inspired by would be there.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand that this is impossible. Bands have egos. Someone like Steven Adler would never want to play on the same stage as Axl Rose, and Vinnie Vincent would be too much of a jerk to even show up, I'd be willing to bet. But just try to imagine the statement this would make.

So here we are, we're only a few days away from our very own festival and there's a million things to do. Where would a concert like this be? My guess would be either outside of Detroit or New York. Let's use Detroit. What bands do we invite? Only the best. The ones that will have the most to say for KISS. Bands with guitarists who proudly mention their biggest influence as the spaceman or someone who started their own KISS tribute band in high school. Strategy is also important. Obviously you wouldn't try to get David Lee Roth to sing with Van Halen. Gene tried to take his band away from him. Stick with Gary Cherone with the new Van Halen, (even though Dave is highly superior). When should this happen? The millenium is almost here, but since January is too cold in Detroit, it should be in June. So what do we call this festival? KISStock 2000. Dave Matthews Band and Phish can have these things, so why can't the KISS army?

Anyway, each band would play a regular set but close with a KISS song. Don't try to say that nothing like this has ever been done before. When Poison, Great White, Ratt, and L.A. Guns toured together this summer, they would close together on a jam session of "Rock and Roll all night." These bands know their place.

The first day would have to start strong (Van Halen) and end strong (Guns n' Roses). The bands in the middle aren't necesarily fluff, (Slaughter, Poison, Cheap Trick) but pretty much have had their heyday before and still owe it all to KISS.

Day two has the super groups of today (Smashing Pumpkins, Weezer) or older ones who are still at the top (Metallica) and proclaim KISS as their influence as well. This day will also have groups who have influenced KISS (Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper).

Day three would definitely be the most interesting. Each KISS member gets his own time on stage. The Mark St. John project goes first, giving him his dignity back for god's sake. Vinnie is second. He was in the band for over two years and wrote songs on Creatures, Lick It Up and Revenge. Yes, he's a jerk, but he's still a part of KISS's history so he's on next. ESP should be on after that. Eric Singer a member of KISS for five years and Karl Cochran a member of Frehley's Comet for almost two, should be in the spotlight for a bit too. They can play songs from their album or cover KISS tunes. (Of course they'd play with John and Bruce, but they're also on later).

Next the original four would have solo band turns so they can play personal favorite songs thatt the rest of the band may not want to. Paul can have his "Crazy Nights" Ace can have his "Rock Soldiers" etc. Peter is definitely first. He goes up with his solo band that recorded "Criss Cat #1" before the reunion. Ace is next with the original Comet (Anton Fig, Jon Regan and either Richie Scarlett or Tod howarth.) Paul and his band from his solo tour in 1989 go next. (Bob Kulick, Dennis St. James, Gary Corbett, and of course Eric Singer). Gene is last and his band will defnitely be the hardest. So I guess he'll have assemble his own and play whatever he wants. He's used to having a lot of power so it won't be hard to have complete control over a band like this.

Union goes on and plays a set while the originals are backstage getting ready putting makeup on and such. During Union's set Bruce plays a tribute to Eric Carr by singing "Dear Friend," from the new Union album. (No I haven't heard it yet, but whatever). Maybe even some songs from Eric's CD "Rockology."

Finally, the original band comes out with makeup and plays the classics from the first eight albums. Since, they've already had their chance to play their favorite 80's songs and solo tunes from over the years it doesn't really matter So without further ado, here are the bands and respective KISS song they would close with. Of course, I'd like to put the entire setlist for each band, but I have a life too (albeit not much of one, but I still have one.) So here we go:

Day 1 Van Halen (Srutter)
Slaughter (no, no, no)
Motley Crue (With Tommy Lee)
Twisted Sister (I just Wanna)
Poison (God Gave Rock and Roll To You II)
Ratt (Tears are Falling)
Cheap Trick (Little Caesar)
Guns n' Roses (original Lineup) (Creatures of the Night)

Day 2 Lenny Kravitz (Deuce)
Aerosmith (I Still Love You)
Smashing Pumpkins (2000 Man)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (Hate)
Lou Reed (A World Without Heroes)
Alice in Chains (Lonely is the hunter)
Pantera (War machine)
Metallica (Unholy)
Alice Cooper (With Eric Singer) (Dreamin') HAHA
Black Sabbath (Watchin' You)

Day 3 Mark St. John Project (Heaven's on Fire)
Vinnie Vincent (Lick it Up)
ESP (Goin' Blind)
Criss (Hard Luck Woman)
Frehely's Comet (Shock Me)
Paul Stanley's solo tour (Love Gun)
Gene's band from his solo album (I Love It Loud)
Union (Jungle and I walk Alone)
KISS

Of course if this were to ever happen Eddie Van Halen would get pissed off that he is opening and get a fist fight with Axl Rose. The guys from Motely Crue and Poison would probably write "Metal Rules" on Billy Corgan's head and Billy, thinking it was Flea, steals Dee Sniders makeup and paints Alice Cooper's design on Flea's face while he's sleeping. Dee asks Gene if he can borrow some makeup who says no and Ace ends up giving him some which pisses off Gene who accidently knocks over Eric Singer's drumkit. Suddenly Vinnie's new lead singer becomes friends with Mark Slaughter and he blows the entire festival up.

So you can obviously tell that I see this whole festival as an impossibility. Thats because it is. But then again that's what they said about Woodstock and for three perfect days, there was something cool to remember.

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