The Greatest Lie Of All?
By: chaim@sunpoint.net

I've been a sort of a Kiss fan for 16 years and know all their music. I've never been interested in the merchandise thing, but interviews I've collected plenty, for I've always (naturally, I would say) been interested in the personalities behind the music. Only now have I become obsessed with a mystery that I've always taken for granted, perhaps too much so. There is, you see, a name that keeps appearing on the album covers, magazines, collectibles and now, of course, on the Internet. I've learned to connect that name with a certain face. A face that was revealed about 17 years ago after ten years of complete obscurity. The name I've come to recognize is said to be not his original one. What is this name? - Gene Simmons.

A few months ago I saw a Sherlock Holmes comedy. It was about Dr. Watson who did all the crime solving (read "brainwork") and a drunk actor who had been hired by Watson to play Holmes. The actor had nothing of a brain in terms of logical deduction, so in any given situation Watson would whisper him the conclusions to be made of a certain clue located before his "observing" eyes.

Also, a few months back I started on a job on which another guy started at the same time. He once told me that some people have questioned even the existence of such a personality as Homer (not forgetting Jesus Christ, but our minds are programmed to deny anything "unnatural"). Anyway, I've talked to him about this ever decreasing significance that this Mr. Simmons seems to have had in Kiss' actual studio performances. Once in a while it is so announced that the bass part in this and that song was actually played by this lead guitarist, or that roadie. Or more often, by the song writer; very rarely by the actual bass player himself. (Although it has been reported that in his own songs he not only played the bass parts, but often would also play rhythm guitar or occasional guitar fills.) This led my colleague into an interesting idea that immediately caught my attention. Put in one sentence: What if this Simmons figure never existed?

Let's cast our minds back to the year 1972. We see a hungry young guitarist named Stanley Eisen, who hasn't been lucky enough to gather musicians with a certain drive around him. Stanley has lots of ideas, but he's afraid, as a matter of fact he's positive he can't build them into a complete performance all by himself. Also, he needs another outstanding personality beside him. Not much unlike Lennon to McCartney, Jagger to Richards and the rest of 'em. No one, however, seems to share the same ideology on a musical performance, so what is he to do? Then, all of a sudden, it dawns on him. Stanley gets an idea like a sudden lightning from the mighty heights of a raging sky. If you can't find one INVENT one!

How to put this grand idea into practice? Stanley discovers he has enough material to begin with and half of it could be credited to this imaginary partner. He sees a problem. Even if he CAN find a guy whose outlook fits in with his plan, how is he ever able to create a voice for him? Stanley, again, sees the answer to the problem. He contacts a friend with whom he used to share the stage and studio during the Wicked Lester days, and calls him to the rescue; a friend who was born as Chaim Witz, but had become known as Eugene Klein after moving to America; and who later had begun calling himself Gene Simmons. Stanley is also allowed to use the guy's stage name for this new "partner". Indeed a wise choice, thinking of continuity in history books. (Some of "the Demon's" vocals might also easily have been performed by Stanley himself, for the kind of growling that exists on those early Kiss records could be created by just about anyone) But how could anyone think the Wicked Lester! and the to-be Kiss Gene Simmons are the same person? There's photos of Wicked Lester and Stanley can't locate and destroy them all. Oh no, trouble again. Yes? NO!! No problem! He can make-up the actor. But wouldn't it look silly with one person in full make up and others having none? He has to start wearing make-up himself!

Peter and Ace he might have found just like we've been told. Or if not, it's a different essay. One thing of which I've no theory for is where the hell Stanley (today being his last name) found the actor; and if the actor has been replaced over the years. Also, on who actually wrote the Simmons-tunes, I've really no reasonable comment to offer. There may have been plenty of ghost writers. I would, however, guess it was the mentioned co-writer of any song, or if it said merely "Simmons", it might've been simply Paul (Stanley's first name today, of course).

The next problem I find myself in (and most likely Paul found himself in at the time) is the time since '83 when Kiss performed without make-up. I would guess that the Wicked Lester-Simmons brought his whole presence to the spotlight in addition to his by then already familiar voice. Why? Maybe he was short of cash after not being able to make it in the music scene. But since Stanley was a rich man by '83, the possibility also exists that he grabbed some bum off the streets who was "willing to do anything to make it"; even to go through plastic surgery for a certain amount of dough. Anyway, I'm sure Stanley must have been relieved when he noticed no one could tell the difference! Or maybe someone could but there's nothing a note wad an inch thick can't do. A perfect fraud!!.

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