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 All news should be considered an unconfirmed report unless verified, and all information published at KISS Asylum is attributed to the source from which it was received so that readers may judge the validity of the statements for themselves. All information is confirmed where possible, and all publication is governed by common sense.
From: The Star Tribune/Minneapolis The tongue is a versatile instrument. You can twist it, pierce it, protrude it. And, if you're a rock star like GENE SIMMONS, of VH1's "Rock School," or Mick Jagger, now on the Rolling Stones' "Bigger Bang" tour, you can use it to lap up publicity. Even dogs are getting in the act, with the Humunga Tongue, a new prop from Moody Pet Inc. which assures that your pooch will never suffer tongue envy. With so many prominent tongues flashing, it's time to check out which are the most twisted: GENE SIMMONS - Tongue type: Serpentine, Function: Frightens parents of KISS-loving children. Attracts women turned on by creepy men in heavy makeup. Michael Jordan - Tongue type: Floppy, Function: Once meant that he was about to perform a 360-reverse dunk over two 7-footers. Now, it probably just means he's thirsty. Rolling Stones Symbol - Tongue type: Cartoonish, Function: The emblem of the Rolling Stones since about 1971. Its message: "We're still irreverent, in-your-face and brimming with infantile sexuality." Komodo Dragon - Tongue type: Forked, Function: To sample the air, detect odors and say, "Hey, baby" to unattached komodos and aging KISS groupies. Humunga Tongue - Tongue type: Prosthetic, Function: A $12 toy for your dog to fetch and carry while you laugh uproariously. Puppy psychiatry sessions not included. |
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