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 All news should be considered an unconfirmed report unless verified, and all information published at KISS Asylum is attributed to the source from which it was received so that readers may judge the validity of the statements for themselves. All information is confirmed where possible, and all publication is governed by common sense.
From: The Virginian-Pilot TWO TEENAGERS are sitting on a velvet sofa, shoulder to shoulder. "Some dads are, like, firemen, businessmen, accountants," Sophie Tweed-Simmons says to her brother Nick. "Dad is a fire-spitting demon." Yeah, life is a little different when KISS co-founder GENE SIMMONS is your daddy and Shannon Tweed, 1982 Playboy Playmate of the Year, is your mom. And president of your PTA. While I normally can't bear to watch reality TV because the people are so mean to each other, I find myself tuned into A&E's "GENE SIMMONS Family Jewels." That's right. The guy with the eight-inch long tongue and kabuki makeup who spits blood and wants to rock-and-roll-all-night-and-party-ev-er-y-day is on A&E. As a family man. What is even stranger is how nice his kids are. There is no other word for it. "Nice." Gene and Shannon have raised startlingly charming kids - the kind you wouldn't mind taking on a car trip. Nick, 17, and Sophie, 14, make the show. They aren't sparkling under the influence. They don't look like their dad stomps them with the silver platform boots to keep them in line. They just look like kids who know somebody loves them. Which is why I keep on watching. Even though I know this show is staged and edited, that kind of love can't be faked. So I gotta know: How do they do it? How do a rock god and a centerfold raise kids who look happy and laugh naturally and actually, on occasion, seem to like their parents? These are the lessons I've picked up so far: It ain't the money: This family has the kind of money that means your driving instructor turns up at your house in a BMW convertible. It means any material good you want is there for the taking. Yet the whole family seems pretty much used to it. And unimpressed. Gene is forever finding out that you can't buy your way into your family's affections. Be the boss. In this family, the mom and dad are clearly in charge. The kids know exactly where their boundaries are. When mom and dad go out of town and their aunt Tracy (also a Playboy playmate) brings a body piercer over, Sophie doesn't get her navel pierced. She knows exactly what her parents would do and say. She bails. Marry their mother. Here, we learn from the family how not to behave. Gene and Tweed have been "together" for 23 years. Gene prides himself on never being married or divorced. No one else in the family is too crazy about the situation. Nick says, "Dad calls it 'happily UN-married.' Mom calls it 'waiting.' " Understand each other. The one thing I envy about this family is the way they understand each other. They can easily predict that mom doesn't like surprises. That dad won't go for Sophie wearing clothes that are too sexy or grown up. That's all good. But they also laugh at each other's character flaws - not in a cruel way, but in the way you laugh when you love someone anyway. Dress like a mom. Shannon was one of the sexiest women on the planet in the '80s. She is still nicely put together at 48. But she doesn't dress as if she were walking through the pages of Playboy. She doesn't need to cash in on her past. Her daughter follows suit. Even a jerk can be a good father. I'm not sure about this one. Gene says he has slept with 4,600 women. He thinks up obnoxious business plans like "GENE SIMMONS' Bikini Carwash." He disdains all fans - even fans who are famous in their own right. He goes to dinner surrounded by breast implants. That can't be a good idea. Still, there are those good kids. He calls his mother all the time. He doesn't drink or do drugs. Will that be enough for the long haul? Jury is still out. You can't fix everything. Gene decides to orchestrate a gig for Nick's band. He was a rock god, so he is pretty certain he can teach Nick the family business. Not so fast, Dad. When Gene takes him to a convention, Nick draws his dad aside and tells him to stop telling the surrounding chicks to pretend they like him. Even Nick knows he has to find his own way through life. Smart kid. Save the best part of yourself for the time that you are at home. Most of us put our best selves out in public and save the growly, irritable, tired part of ourselves for home. Gene once gave a notorious interview on NPR in which he and the even-tempered Terry Gross exchanged nasty barbs. "I would like to think that the personality you've presented on our show today is a persona that you've affected as a member of KISS," she told him then, "something you do onstage, before the microphone, but that you're not nearly as obnoxious in the privacy of your own home or when you're having dinner with friends." Gross had his number. Rock god. Family man. Both. Neither. There is nothing like the puzzle of family life to show a man's true character. Fascinating stuff. |
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