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Adding New Jewels To His Crown
From: Maxim.com

Obviously, the thing on everybody's mind right now is your face-lift. Was there anything in particular that drove you to that decision?

It really wasn't a big thought. The producer [of GENE SIMMONS Family Jewels] asked, "How about having a face-lift? And we'll film the whole procedure." And I thought about it for a while, and I thought, Yeah, sure. So we did his and hers face-lifts. I'm a type-A personality. Once I commit to something, I do it all the way. And now I'm even more stunning than I was before.

Was it annoying having the cameras up your ass during the recovery process?

No, I like things up my ass. Usually farm animals, but that's another story [laughs]. I don't mind having the cameras there at all. In fact, I invite them into situations that they don't want to go into. Neither Shannon nor the kids are too thrilled with having cameras around them; but I'm an only child, so I crave attention.

What do you think sets your show apart from similar shows like The Osbournes?

I think they're all the same. Most reality shows are exactly the same. If you like ours better it's because you like the people better. But originality is highly overrated. At the end of the day, I don't care if something is original, I just care if I like it or not.

After doing GENE SIMMONS' Rock School and now Jewels, are you more comfortable as "TV Gene"?

People are throwing projects left and right at me, but by and large I say no. But I don't mind doing this stuff. I'm self-absorbed. I like me. I'm in the GENE SIMMONS business. I'm totally comfortable talking about myself, and I love the sound of my own voice. But I'm not really in the television business. I do other stuff.

So the rocker is still inside?

Well, that made everything possible. Therein lies the beat of the heart. There is nothing like getting up onstage and putting on taller heels than you wear and going out there and being the dream and living it. So this summer, KISS will be doing three shows for tens of thousands of people.

Do you have any idea when you'll be putting on that makeup for the last time?

No. When I was growing up, there was a phrase, never trust anyone over 30. But only white people did that. You never heard black people say that about B.B. King, you know? They don't say, "He's 80, he should hang up his shoes." They look at him with reverence. But white people look at Mick Jagger and say, "Oh, he's too old." It's such a bizarre thing, when the truth is, the biggest guy in the world is also the oldest guy in the world.

So do you want to keep going until you croak?

I hope we don't do it a day longer than we want to do it. And I don't think the age thing matters. The biggest bands in the world are the oldest bands in the world.

What are your thoughts on the popularity of games like Guitar Hero?

It's fantastic. You can either do it my way, which is to scratch and claw your way to the top year after year and hopefully finally make it, or you can strap one of those babies around your neck and actually get the feeling. It's interesting to watch them play, because they assume the position, if you'd pardon my French. It's that kind of cocky rock star thing. It works for guys and girls.

With the game coming to Xbox 360, do you think it might breed the next generation of fire-breathing rock stars?

No, I don't think anything like that will happen. But what it will do is make a few people a lot happier, because this stuff, in a very real way, is cathartic. It gets you out of your skin. People by and large are uptight and feel awkward getting up in front of other people. But when there's a screen there and a ready-made audience there for you, it's even less intimidating than karaoke bars. You don't have to face an audience, because it's right there on the screen. It's a great way to get out of your shell.

Is there anything that people could still be shocked to know about you?

I have never been high or drunk or smoked cigarettes in my life, and I've never been married. Most everybody has, and I don't know why. I couldn't think of a good reason to do any of those. The problem with marriage and the problem with most relationships is someone else has a say in who and what you are. And that's totally unacceptable. How did anybody get the right, or earn it, to do that. You can earn the right if you buy it. If you buy somebody's companionship. A husband, if he's paying all the bills he can, but he bought that companionship. But the guys are wimping out. That's why they die before their wives. Why do men die first? Because they want to [laughs].

What are you more proud of, having your face on a stamp or being a character on Family Guy?

The stamp is pretty cool. That money goes to charity, so that's cool. But as an immigrant coming to America, I'm amazed by the fact that they'd let me become a superhero for 30 years much less have my face stuck on a stamp of all people. It just shows the wonder of America. But Family Guy is huge. We did two or three of those. The one I liked is "Saving Santa Clause." Of course, the other one was pretty cool, too, because I think at a certain point in the past I mounted Lois.

Speaking of your past conquests, has Shannon ever been threatened by your history with women?

No, the very first thing I did with Shannon, with anybody really, is "Meet the Real GENE SIMMONS." I bring out the folios of thousands of naked girls and go, "Here's who I am." And I still got laid that night, rather violently, as I recall. What girl would want to be with a guy that other girls don't want?

Your Web site has almost as many photo galleries of girls as ours. Are you trying to put us out of business?

Of course not, but I wouldn't mind setting up a meeting to discuss with you guys the possibility of GENE SIMMONS' Tongue magazine. With these girls, I don't know who they are. They send in their photos and want to be "Ladies in Waiting." And it's great. That's just life. The world is a better place with beautiful women.

We couldn't agree more.


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