Comedian Craig Gass was sitting in this morning doing his Gene Simmons impression. The real Gene Simmons came in to promote a few things so we had a battle of the Genes going on. Gene came in saying that he's gotten tons of phone calls from people about Craig doing his voice. He mentioned how ''Gene'' told Suzanne Somers that he was going to give her a KISS lunch pail when she was on talking about her breast cancer. He jokingly called Craig a ''son of a bitch'' a few times. Gene noticed that Howard had the bust of him sitting next to the picture of OJ in the studio. He's sent it to Howard recently. Of course Craig was doing his ''Gene'' and saying a bunch of funny stuff. The real Gene said that he doesn't sound anything like him but he really does. Gene thinks it's a more high pitched voice that Craig does. Gene did an impression of Craig doing an impression of Gene which was pretty funny also. Of course Craig made jokes about how KISS takes their fans money and how they invented just about everything. Real Gene took it well and laughed hysterically at a few of the jokes. Gene also explained that every band, no matter who they are, are in this game to make money. They're all corporate entities that are there to make money and KISS has made close to half a billion dollars with their merchandising.

The fact that Gene has slept with over 3000 women also came up. Gene explained how he doesn't mess around with the B.S. of trying to sweet talk a woman. He just talks to her honestly and if he finds one attractive, he'll tell her that right off. Howard thought of the relationships as one night stands but Gene doesn't see it that way. Gene was in to promote a few things including his autobiography which will be out in the fall and a KISS box set that will cost about $250. The main thing he was promoting was a new KISS casket! He said he'll be at the Jacob Javits Convention Center tomorrow from 10am to 3pm promoting this thing. It's a full sized actual casket that will cost you about $4500. It's waterproof so it can also be used as a cooler in your house. So you can enjoy it while you're alive and dead. Of course it has KISS stuff all over it.

Howard took a couple of quick phone calls from people and then let Gene talk about how KISS has come close to beating the Beatles in sales and attendance records. He said they've actually beaten The Beatles in some attendance records. Craig's ''Gene'' said they beat the ''Most Anal'' record and they actually invented anal sex because the band was getting tired of vagina. ''Gene'' also joked that on KISSOnline.com you'll soon see a ''Cash-Cam'' where you can watch Gene count your money. Of course you'll have to pay to see him counting your money. The real Gene laughed at that whole idea. Someone on the phone asked Gene if he's ever banged any famous chicks like Pamela Anderson. He started to talk about Pam when ''Gene'' interrupted and said that he'd banged Betty Crocker. The real Gene just said ''I give up.'' Another caller said he'd been to 13 KISS shows. ''Gene'' interrupted again and said that KISS' first fan was Eleanor Roosevelt. Chaunce Hayden called in and tried to tell a story about going to Scores with Gene but Gene said it wasn't true. Chaunce said that he and Gene compared tongues and Gene lost to him, threw down his non-alcoholic drink and ran out when he lost. Gene swore on his children that he's never done anything like that in his life.

The other reason Gene was in was to promote a band called The Rosenbergs. One of the guys from the band was there to tell a story about how a web site tried to have their band sign a 23 page contract that would have made them almost slaves. They wanted their first 6 records and a bunch of other stuff. Gene was there to warn other bands to be careful with stuff like this. He said there's nothing like having a real record company behind you to give you an advance and to distribute your records. Howard spent a short time talking to that guy and then wrapped things up after bringing in a couple of Gene's fans. Two women came in dressed up as KISS members and said they'd like to have sex with Gene. Gene just told them about his new KISS casket and how they could use it as a cooler.